Before we started this journey we tried to prepare our family and friends for what was ahead. When anyone brings foster children into a home it doesn’t just make life different for the household members but also all the loved ones of the foster family.
I remember it like yesterday when my dad and I had a very “intense” conversation about us becoming foster parents. If you know my dad he will argue to prove his point for hours if he feels he is right. So rightfully so, I have some exceptional arguing skills as well. I tried extremely hard to explain why we were going to become foster parents, but he just couldn’t understand our reasoning behind this. “Why not just have a kid of your own Savanna?” he asked. I had a child of my own already, and I knew I didn’t want to go through pregnancy again. He was especially concerned for Brody and his safety. My dad then asked, “So what if something terrible happens to Brody? These foster kids have seen so much, and you have no idea what you’re bringing into your house.” He was right again. I was putting my 5 year old son right in harms way, but I knew there were strict guidelines I could put in place before saying yes to any child. I knew at this time we wouldn’t bring teenagers into our home. We had our mind set on a little girl no older than 3 or 4 years old. I also knew that God was on our side, and He would give us exactly what we needed. Among many other questions and comments my dad expressed, “Savanna this doesn’t just affect y’all, but it affects the whole family!” Again he was right! My only response back was along the lines of “yeah...well it does affect you, so you better get ready!” He expressed to me how it would be different with these kids. They wouldn’t be like Brody. And again, he was 100% spot on. They definitely would never be like Brody. These kids would come broken, abused, neglected, and sometimes withdrawaling from drugs. They would be scared, confused, and unable to trust--nothing like Brody! Even more of a reason for us to get them right?! Who would take care of them if we didn’t? By the end of this hour long, very intense conversation with my dad I told him, “It’s fine...let me show you how you’re going to eat all the words you said tonight! The first time some little girl climbs in your lap and calls you Pops, you’re going to eat every SINGLE word you said!! And...I’m going to laugh, and say I told you so!!”
Months passed as we continued working on getting our foster care license. My dad and I would talk briefly about it, but no details. I think he was probably hoping this would be something I was just talking about but not really going to do. Finally the day came when I knew they were bringing Ozlynn to us. The first person I called was my dad! I was so excited to tell him about this blue eyed, blonde headed little girl. I told him just pieces about why she was coming to us. I had a picture that the caseworker had sent of this precious baby with a bandage on her face. The bandage covered a puncture wound that went all the way through this baby’s cheek. A hole in her face from a pit bull biting her at the drug dealer's house. She had just been released from Children’s Hospital and was being brought to us. My dad could hardly bear to listen to much more. It broke his heart. He told me he was excited to meet her, and he would be down soon. When my dad saw her for the first time his smile was priceless. She called him “Pops” from day one, and loved being around him. She came to us in October, and by November she had my dad along with everyone else in the family wrapped around her finger. She was so easy to love!
After Thanksgiving with the family that year we were all sitting outside by a fire. It was getting late, and she was getting tired. I told Ozlynn to come sit down in my lap so I could rock her. She yelled, “No! I want Pops!” Of course he scooped her up and rocked her to sleep. Her little hands were wrapped tightly around his neck, and she was peacefully asleep in no time. As she was sleeping on his shoulder I gave him the biggest “I told you so smile” and said, “Those dang ole foster kids!! Why the heck would we want them?!” He continued rocking her saying, “Just shut up Savanna!! Just shut up!” He was a sucker from then on!! We’ve never had to convince him again that this was the right path for us. Ozlynn leaving was heartbreaking for us all...even ole Pops! As I sobbed to my dad on the phone the day Ozlynn left, I realized clearly why he was rightfully hesitant. I’m his little girl. He wanted to protect me! He didn’t want to see me heartbroken. He didn’t want to see his grandson hurt or even have to say goodbye himself. He’s my daddy and his job has been to protect me. As we all know there is no protection from saying goodbye to a child you love though. The only way to avoid that is to never become a parent, much less a foster parent. My dad knew I would fall in love with these kids, and as his child he didn’t want to watch me hurt. The greatest words I heard from him that day were, "Savanna, I'm proud of you baby. It will be okay. You did the right thing. She belongs with her family." I'M PROUD OF YOU-these words meant so much. Even though "I told you so" could have been used just as easily, he chose to tell me he was proud.
Being foster parents is surprisingly more than just about the people in the home. I have friends who still talk about Ozlynn and miss her dearly. Being foster parents affects every single person in your life. It’s not ever easy either. It’s actually hard on many levels. One of my dear friends, Kelly Fuller, once gave me some advice while we were waiting on our first foster child. Her words have been etched into my heart and repeated many times over and over in my head. She said, “Savanna, you have to realize when you are waiting on something that you feel like is taking too long, God is preparing all the other people’s hearts this will affect as well.” How true are these words?!? Every decision big or small, foster care or not, affects many more people than just us. I once heard a speaker say, "If you can change the life of just one person for the better then you ultimately changed the lives of ten other people as well." I find this to be so true. What would our world be like if every person’s goal was to change another’s life for the good? I can’t even imagine!
No matter your situation remember that God has a plan we can’t see. My dad being apprehensive was perfectly normal! He loves us and wanted to protect us. A few years later when I cried to him again on the phone about having cervical cancer it all started making sense. If I hadn’t followed through with becoming a foster parent, I would have been told I needed a hysterectomy and been heartbroken knowing I could never have kids again. This wasn’t the case at all! A hysterectomy was a life saver...literally! And I wasn’t a crazy lady crying and freaking out when they told me the news because I had four kids at home!! FOUR!! God had a plan! I did ask Eric before surgery, “I mean it is kinda sad knowing that I will never have another kid huh?” He looked at me like I was insane and said, “Girl if you think you’re ever getting pregnant and having more kids you better find a new husband! This guy isn’t giving you another baby! I mean maybe...sooner or later we will get another baby, but you’re not ever giving birth to another baby. No, this isn’t sad at all!” I laughed and totally agreed with him.
Everyone isn’t called to be foster parents, but I bet everyone knows someone who is. You may even have loved ones who foster or maybe you foster, but have loved ones who question your decisions. Whatever the case may be, just remember that God has to prepare all the hearts involved. Experiences also change hearts. Ozlynn did it for my entire family. Eric and I are now just the crazy people in the family with a bunch of kids. It’s accepted and just the norm...we are a foster family who will continue Loving on Borrowed Time.
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